It's a pity you are handicapped.

It's not hard to recognize certain facial expressions. One of those is pity. I was at the market in Goderich yesterday morning (somehow managed to get there between bouts of pouring down rain) and was just heading back to my car - lap full of goods - when it started to rain again. When I left the house on my own this morning I knew full well that I might get wet - but so what? It's just water, and aside from a wasted bit of blow drying, what was the big deal? I wouldn't get cold and eventually I would get dry. I had arranged my produce (peaches, blueberries, strawberries, beets and cantaloupe) overtop of the three loaves of bread (yes, a full load) so they would not get wet and had one more stop to make that was right where I had parked. I was counting on the last vendor to just put my two cauliflowers and tomatoes right into the car - it's nice to know the farmers.

As I was making my way to the car, I caught a look. I did not know her, but being that this was Goderich, it was possible that she knew me. However, we had never met before. Although it was just a glance, I am sure that it was pity. And I am not interested in it. Say hello, give a wave and a smile, make a comment "here it comes again" or "haven't we had enough?" I was not complaining about the rain, in fact I boldly had left my raincoat in the car! It is not possible to wheel and hold an umbrella, but I left the house knowing full well that I would likely get wet. I made that choice, to challenge to myself - get to market, shop, load the car (ingenious use of my slider board here) and get on to the next thing - all on my own. And so I did, just a bit damp, no pity required.

So what then, was the word? Handicapped. Used by a man whose own father had a disability. Please, let us just let this word go. It is offensive when used as an adjective. People with disabilities who fought to control their own destiny also fought to use the word disability - rendering the word handicapped obsolete. So let's stop using it. You have to decide to make that change, just like you choose to stop swearing in front of your kids when then started saying things back to you that you didn't like to hear. The apple never falls far from the tree - ask any teacher this after parent-teacher interviews. Kids learn ignorance at home.

Language changes, there are many examples I could give, but just remember people first. I am a person who uses a wheelchair. I am not "in a chair", I use a chair. In implies that I never get out. I do; often. I sleep in a bed, drive my car, stand and swim. All without my chair. I am not disabled, I have a disability. I use a wheelchair parking pass and accessible bathrooms.

I ride a hand bike.

And I paddle a kayak.

Go ahead and apply a handicap to your golf game or your next horse race. But don't apply it to me. And save your pity, no one needs it anyway.

Sesquicentennial Celebrations

Not only are we celebrating 150 years since confederation, we are also in the 100th year since women "gained" the vote in Canada. Lisa Thompson, Huron-Bruce MPP, invited 150 women from the region to celebrate these two events at the Assembly of Remarkable Women in Huron County.

Lisa Thompson, Huron-Bruce MPP;
co-host of the dinner

Karri-Anne Cameron - Community Activist,
Chair of the Building Bridges Campaign

Debbie Green - Educator,
Principal F.E. Madill

Marion Studhalter - Role Model;
Current Queen of the Furrow - note the crown!

150 women were recognized as Mentors, Community Activists, Educators, Politicians, Authors & Publishers. I had dinner with many of my friends from education, sat across the table from the first female chair of the IMP and met a woman who herself was turning 100. It was wonderful to see so many of the "movers and shakers" from Huron in attendance, but by no means were they all there. How could you possibly find all the women in this area who have done so much for their community? Many "fly under the radar" doing good for those who don't even realize it. 

I was recognized as a community activist, but really, I am just getting started. I see making more change in my future.

A different perspective

23 months ago a man, driving a car, caused a collision. It was just after 9am, he was returning home from dropping off a couple of videos in town and had stopped to get coffee and a sandwich. As he drove along the straight stretch of road that he had driven a thousand times before he felt and heard, more than he saw, something hit his car. He thought, at first, that a deer had come out of the ditch and ran into the side of his car. As he looked into his rearview mirror, instead of a deer what he saw was the blur of colours, a person, flying into the ditch.

He pulled over as quickly as he could and went back to see if this person was okay. As he got to her he saw she had a helmet on, still attached to her head. He looked and saw a bike, white, about 20 feet ahead. She was conscious and trying to get up, she was asking for his help. He said, "Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't see you". She kept trying to get up, pushing with her arms. Blood on her face. He did his best to sooth her and told her to just lay still. Another man arrived and said he had called 911. An ambulance was on it's way. Someone else stopped and offered first-aid. Thank God.

In what seemed like an eternity, an OPP officer arrived. The ambulance came and put the lady on a stretcher, loaded her into the back of the truck and drove away with lights and siren. Now, all the attention was on him. He felt like he was going to be sick. What had happened? What did he do? What did he remember? No, he did not have his phone. Yes, he was alone. They looked at his car. There was a white streak and scratch on the front right panel and the passenger side mirror was smashed. There was a hot coffee in the cup-holder and a half-eaten sandwich on the passenger seat. No, he had not been drinking the coffee - it was too hot. Yes, he had been eating the sandwich.

He sat in the back of the cruiser while the officer spoke to him. What had just happened? How could this be? How could he have not seen this person, a woman, on a bike? He had not seen her.

After that it was all a blur. He doesn't remember how he got home, or what he told his wife and kids. Everything would be different now. He could not look people in the eye. Could not even look at himself in the mirror. He had caused irreparable harm; damage that could not be undone. He would remember this for the rest of his life. Every day he wished he had the courage to look her in the eyes and say he was sorry; longing to be forgiven.

He had not seen her.

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You are forgiven.