Sometimes something just clicks in my head. I just had a one hour nap. Theo has the kids up at the pool for swim club, so I am here at home alone where it is quiet. I was thinking about my day and about some of the conversations I had, and I realized that everything I do now, I also did while working. Okay, not everything, but allow me to explain.
This is what my day was like. 715 am wake up, get partially dressed, get up and have some breakfast with the kids. Cheer them on out the door and watch them walk down the driveway. Sit in the sun for a few minutes (it's been a while). Finish getting dressed, do my hair, pee and be ready for my friend to take me to physio. It's now 915. At physio we did some more killer core and some standing. I'll try to attach a video from today. Home to have lunch with my friend, then off with Theo to a meeting with Oliver's teacher in Seaforth. Home again and into bed for a rest. Nap. Next is dinner on my own (whatever shall I do? I may read at the table!)
I realize this is not very exciting, and it seems like it should not be that tiring, but believe me, it is. Because every time I change my location I have to transfer, using my arms. Bed to chair, chair to car, car back to chair, chair to physio bed, physio bed back to chair, chair to car, car to chair, chair to bed. Bed back to chair to eat lunch. And so on. Which is just plain tiring.
While eating lunch with Vicki today the conversation eventually got around to when I would be going back to work. I likely will eventually, but today it just hit me. I can barely do all of these minor daily tasks, let alone all of these AND an eight hour day! I definitely have come far, in terms of balance and endurance, and a little bit of mental fortitude, but I am not done. For now physio is my full time job and I need to keep working at it. Perhaps, when the time comes and I am fit, I may be a candidate for a new treatment that will get me standing on my legs, on my own! I need to be ready for that.
Can't get the video to work here so I am posting it on facebook. Hope you can see it.
"A little bit of mental fortitude"!?! I guess you have to aim high, but surely your mental fortitude has already reached the level of 'considerable'.
ReplyDeleteJulie... I love your blog. I have worked with persons with disabilities in the past and have heard of the ongoing struggles they face (especially dealing with insurance companies). I spent a mere two hours in a wheelchair last summer while visiting the Aquarium in Toronto (recovering from a fall and unable to stand or walk for long periods of time). I was astonished by how "invisible" I felt and how other people were quite willing to crowd in front of me and disregard the fact that it was a struggle for me to see some of the exhibits. I was bumped into, butted in front of MANY TIMES... I know this is a poor comparison... but it really further opened my eyes. I think your words are so very important for awareness... Know that I think of you every time I see a cyclist on the road. I think what you are doing by sharing your story is wonderful and I have shared the link to your blog with many people! You are an inspiration and I do love your candid style and humour. I will definitely be advocating "Share the Road" right along with you.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate you sharing your experiences with us as readers - as someone with a disability who needs regular physio, it helps me to feel part of something bigger and remember that plenty of other people are going through what I do on a daily basis. You are right to take things slow and focus on the long term - wishing you the best of luck.
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